Its just one of those horrible lonely days. I was doing so GREAT and than BANG out of nowhere the loneliness starts again. Probably because I was stood up 2 days in a row....think this is a record!
How do people do it? How do people really find someone to love? I have been praying and waiting for it my whole life and I have NEVER had it!
I have never had a boyfriend, never been in love......has never know what it was like for someone to love me and put me first.
Can someone please PLEASE tell me the secret place that I have never been able to find................someone tell me where it is so I can find that 1 person that is meant for me!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Friday, April 30, 2010
Feeling lost, lonely and heartbroken....
Lonely, lonely sadness has been following me for weeks. I know right where is it coming from so it's not something that I can get rid of easily.
God I want that someone to love & love me! It is ALL I have prayed for my whole life and today is no different. I so hate seeing couples! I have NEVER in my life been part of a couple and it SUCKS!
GOD!? WHERE IS MY LOVE!!!!???
God I want that someone to love & love me! It is ALL I have prayed for my whole life and today is no different. I so hate seeing couples! I have NEVER in my life been part of a couple and it SUCKS!
GOD!? WHERE IS MY LOVE!!!!???
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Still in libo?
So not sure! Seems like I haven't moved forward and I haven't moved back. Feels like I'm lost and don't know what I'm doing.
Still very much in love and very alone. I have no where that I can go and I really want to run away.
So lost with no one to find me.................still the story of my life. At times like this it seems like that is all that is written on my pages and it will never change................
all I want is love............why it that so hard to get the one thing that I have wanted and prayed for my whole life.
Why can't I find that man that loves me and that I love.............why wasn't he born?
Still very much in love and very alone. I have no where that I can go and I really want to run away.
So lost with no one to find me.................still the story of my life. At times like this it seems like that is all that is written on my pages and it will never change................
all I want is love............why it that so hard to get the one thing that I have wanted and prayed for my whole life.
Why can't I find that man that loves me and that I love.............why wasn't he born?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
The hardest day of the year for me is coming. Valentine's Day. HATE IT!
Proverbs 3 5 - 6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart. And lean not on your own understanding..In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.
OK. So if you read my post from last year you will know the reason why I HATE Valentine's day. Yes I have never had a valentine. I have never had a boyfriend and I have never been in love. Valentine's day is when this hits me the most. I can do ALL holidays with out any problem even my birthday if no one ever remembers it, it doesn't brother me. Some of the BEST b-days I have had are the ones that I just spend time with myself. I will treat myself to whatever and never tell people its my b-day. If they don't remember I won't remind them because I make my own fun. This past Christmas I was working. Well the night before Christmas I didn't sleep all night because I was so excited about Christmas. We didn't do anything and didn't even do gifts. It was just because it was CHRISTMAS and well, I'm a big kid and just love it.
Well I can't say that about Valentine's day. Since I have never been a couple I have never had the chance to celebrate it. So if it's really no big deal once you do celebrate it with someone you love, I can't say. This is the ONLY day in the world that reminds me that I have never had someone care about me to celebrate that day. Even the guy I was going out with last year took another girl out on that day. He never called me or anything. The girl that he took out never celebrates that day because she doesn't care about it. Lucky her. Well she told him she was in love with someone else and he wouldn't leave her alone. He brought her candy on that day - which I found out she refused to take because she told him she was only there to play video games.
Well this didn't help me feel any better about this day. But I knew that he wouldn't take me because it would have meant something to me and would have meant nothing to him.
God knows how I have always wanted to have someone to love and someone that loves me. And last year was the first time ever in my life that I thought I have a Valentine! Yeah, guess not!
So here this awful day comes again and I am alone like ever other year, I as of today have no one who loves me in that way.
God's free will is the one thing that he will not cross and I have been desperately praying for God to make me never care about V-day again. Which I know and have heard from Him that this is not what He wants for me. I have prayed and say I know that this is not what you want but this is my will and the pain of that day is too great for me to EVER want to care about it again.
God's will is perfect and so much better than our own, but I know that I don't want to live with the pain of loneliness on the most romantic day of the year without having that someone that loves me.
To know that someone loves you and you love them.................That would be better than all the V-days could ever be.
OK. So if you read my post from last year you will know the reason why I HATE Valentine's day. Yes I have never had a valentine. I have never had a boyfriend and I have never been in love. Valentine's day is when this hits me the most. I can do ALL holidays with out any problem even my birthday if no one ever remembers it, it doesn't brother me. Some of the BEST b-days I have had are the ones that I just spend time with myself. I will treat myself to whatever and never tell people its my b-day. If they don't remember I won't remind them because I make my own fun. This past Christmas I was working. Well the night before Christmas I didn't sleep all night because I was so excited about Christmas. We didn't do anything and didn't even do gifts. It was just because it was CHRISTMAS and well, I'm a big kid and just love it.
Well I can't say that about Valentine's day. Since I have never been a couple I have never had the chance to celebrate it. So if it's really no big deal once you do celebrate it with someone you love, I can't say. This is the ONLY day in the world that reminds me that I have never had someone care about me to celebrate that day. Even the guy I was going out with last year took another girl out on that day. He never called me or anything. The girl that he took out never celebrates that day because she doesn't care about it. Lucky her. Well she told him she was in love with someone else and he wouldn't leave her alone. He brought her candy on that day - which I found out she refused to take because she told him she was only there to play video games.
Well this didn't help me feel any better about this day. But I knew that he wouldn't take me because it would have meant something to me and would have meant nothing to him.
God knows how I have always wanted to have someone to love and someone that loves me. And last year was the first time ever in my life that I thought I have a Valentine! Yeah, guess not!
So here this awful day comes again and I am alone like ever other year, I as of today have no one who loves me in that way.
God's free will is the one thing that he will not cross and I have been desperately praying for God to make me never care about V-day again. Which I know and have heard from Him that this is not what He wants for me. I have prayed and say I know that this is not what you want but this is my will and the pain of that day is too great for me to EVER want to care about it again.
God's will is perfect and so much better than our own, but I know that I don't want to live with the pain of loneliness on the most romantic day of the year without having that someone that loves me.
To know that someone loves you and you love them.................That would be better than all the V-days could ever be.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Once again & all in God's time
God has once again showed me what is in store for us. It that incredible love that I have held in my heart since I was in my mother's womb........when God knew me.
He has shown me once again why we had to wait until we could share in this amazing love that he has instilled in us. I felt it. I felt that love between us. That love that we may have thought we where never going to be able to share with anyone. That we were going to have to go on until we died. That we would still have to go on wonder for the rest of our lives why we have so much love in us and we have never meant that person that we where meant to give it to.
I have always known that there was only one person that I could & would be able to love that way.
God I ask you in Jesus' might name..........send him that same vision so that he knows he has always know it too.
We have waited so long so this love...............let not wait another day
He has shown me once again why we had to wait until we could share in this amazing love that he has instilled in us. I felt it. I felt that love between us. That love that we may have thought we where never going to be able to share with anyone. That we were going to have to go on until we died. That we would still have to go on wonder for the rest of our lives why we have so much love in us and we have never meant that person that we where meant to give it to.
I have always known that there was only one person that I could & would be able to love that way.
God I ask you in Jesus' might name..........send him that same vision so that he knows he has always know it too.
We have waited so long so this love...............let not wait another day
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Praise The Lord!
Father God I truly praise and bless Your Holy name! Thank you Father God that your promises are real!
I love You Lord and thank You for loving us!
Praise Him!!
I love You Lord and thank You for loving us!
Praise Him!!
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Oops! My bad!
Not done..............far from over.
God is good all the time and all the time God is good!!!
Thank you God that Your promises are real! I will follow You and obey Your voice always!
Praise the Lord! Thank You for being in my life and in control of my life!!!
Thank you seems so small when Your love is so BIG!!!!
Praise and bless His holy name!!
God is good all the time and all the time God is good!!!
Thank you God that Your promises are real! I will follow You and obey Your voice always!
Praise the Lord! Thank You for being in my life and in control of my life!!!
Thank you seems so small when Your love is so BIG!!!!
Praise and bless His holy name!!
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